Hello Reader!

I am here to share with you a key that will set you free from looking at aunt Becky, or maybe even your parents, with contempt for once again having something to say about the decisions you make at Thanksgiving dinner. At the end I will also share some news of what is taking place in MEvolve.

The holidays are the time where we are tempted to fall back into comfort, or old patterns, that we have not engaged with since the previous holiday season.

Sorry to break it to you, but if you are still experiencing the same adverse experiences as you did the year before... you have not actually evolved in that area. You are a year older, but your inner being has not crossed that threshold to his/her next level.

This is not to discredit the strides that took place through the year, they surely added to your evolution. I celebrate them!

However, the test really comes at the hands of those who know you most... your family. These will be the individuals who will, more times than not, see you as your past self and engage with you as that. We catch the bait when we give them that person over the one we are becoming.

Why are we likely to fall back to our past self? Well it is because we are placed back into the environment where a lot of our limited beliefs were birthed, and us showing up as the newer version of ourselves feels like a threat.

"Nicole, how do I make sure this does not take place!?!"

Don't worry ... I got you.

The key is... forgiveness. If you dedicate the remaining of this month and next to a regular forgiveness practice will create a major shift and an unshakeable foundation in how you experience the upcoming family settings, and really all relationships.

Forgiveness may not be the hottest topic for the leader and entrepreneur, but it was heavy in my spirit as I contemplated how to provide value this month. So perhaps it is because you need to hear about it...

If you have difficulty with forgiveness you are doing a major disservice and blocking yourself from, personal and professional, opportunities.

Let me tell you why.

The fruit of unforgiveness is resentment (bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly), and remaining here keeps the person in a victim mindset. A victim mindset is powered by living in survival, worry, and fear. It results in fears of being treated unfairly, failing to connect with others, bridges are burned, and self abandonment.

This can take place in both the family gatherings and the office, just because you are in a different role it does not mean that your inner being cares. With this fruit, it will go after any chance of playing victim, whether publicly or internally.

How exhausting!

I believe that forgiveness is the most transformative act a person can take, I would argue that it is the second most powerful force in the world. This is because on the other side of forgiveness, one meets the most powerful force.

That force being Love. The fruit of love is patience, compassion, understanding, humility, stability, trust, hope, perseverance, and self-control (among others). Imagine how remaining in this space can impact your family, business, team, and dreams... and one key to it is to forgive.

Just like we can make the decision to lose weight, but we won't actually see results until a few weeks in. Forgiveness is also decision that oftentimes comes with a delayed response.

This is because even though we decide in our mind that we will forgive, we still have to let those parts that felt hurt and treated unfairly to agree with the mind. And just like we have to train to lose weight, the same is with forgiveness.

But once you have done these exercises, you will find yourself respectfully answering aunt Becky in a way that you establish a boundary through a non reactive, anchored in love, response. And you will not catch the bait to go back to your old ways.

So how do I forgive?

Well this is honestly something I work with clients through MULTIPLE sessions. However, I will give you key points so you can start your journey, and with an ask of Divine guidance in the process, I am sure you will see shifts take place.

Prep work- take a journal out and write a declaration to yourself that you will practice forgiveness work at least X times every week until the Holidays arrive.

First, ask yourself... who am I dreading to see again or have a conversation with and why? (include what the "why" makes you feel) The "with" will give you the person to forgive and the "why" is the reason why you have to forgive yourself.

"What? forgive myself?" Yep. Because if you are having an adverse reaction to the person, and the "why", is because you took whatever they said personally.

Second, imagine the most compassionate, loving person you know. This can be a caretaker, a movie character, or God Himself. I always picture the Jesus who, while dying on the cross, He asked the Father to forgive His persecutors "for they do not know". Or the Jesus who washed His betrayers feet and broke bread with him. Sit with this image and notice how your body reacts to it.

Third, write down self forgiving statements around the why. For example...

• I forgive myself for believing that what __ said to me was a reflection of who I am, who I really am is __.
• I forgive myself for taking (why statement) personally, I thought that If I do not take it personally then that means that...
• I forgive myself for allowing what ___ says weigh more of what I really think about myself, (then state what you believe to be true about yourself)

Fourth, write down forgiving statements for the person. Identify how you can see them from a compassionate lense over a judgemental one. For example...

• I forgive aunt Becky for always having something to say about how I lead my life, I now see that is how she tries to tell me she cares. I can receive that notion and still explain to her that it is ok if she does not understand.
• I forgive my parents for always making comments of what the marks I missed, I now see that they believe this is how they can keep me motivated. I can explain to them how this approach does not work, and give them a better one that will keep our gatherings more harmonious.
• I forgive my boss for always skipping over my suggestions, I know that his/her response to them has nothing to do with my value and trust the leadership I am under. From this space I can go to him/her with confidence to discuss further on how to grow in my suggestions.

Fifth, Imagine what is possible from this space. Write down any inspiration that comes forth and write gratitude statements for them.

And like your shampoo bottle says. repeat.

I hope this serves you, Reader! I know this newsletter was a big lengthy, but I deem it necessary!

Now onto the actual news...

Here is what is taking place with MEvolve Coaching 🕊️

🕊️ I have a few spots for my Connected Leader Program! This is a 9 week program designed for the leader to see how the power of mental and emotional work can change their every day life.

​Apply here and set up your gifted roadmap session to see if it is a good fit.

🕊️ I have created a Substack page! This is going to include more personal writing around the soul and spirituality. I am doing this out of obedience to God, and I look forward to see how I will be used for it.

Subscribe here ,my first publication is coming soon!

🕊️ Lastly, A gift for YOU! 👇 I am sharing recording of my Breaking Free From Overwhelm masterclass. It is designed to give you a new perspective and strategy to overcome overwhelm.

​Get it here!​

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Until the next one, Reader!

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All in service,

Nicole 🕊️